Saturday, October 30, 2010

When you feel nothing is going your way.....

Agreed. It has been quite some time since I sat down to put my thoughts together here. Certain events of last few months have created a strange feeling. Nothing is going your way. In fact, it is as if you can do no right. Well. Lot of work. Lot of other things. Lot of expectations. Nothing fruitful. I wonder. What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? What thoughts race through your mind? It is easy to be depressed and downcast at such times. Very difficult to have hope.
What could have been done differently? What mistakes could have been avoided? How could you have been better?
You cannot change the past. You cannot ignore the consequences too. Now you just wait. You think that the good times are just around the corner. Have some belief. Have faith. And as Gandalf said, all you need to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Changing of the guard....

This is a question that every workplace must deal with at some point of time: When does the old guard make way for the new one? No doubt that the old one has the experience and knowledge that is needed. But, at certain points, what you need is a newer perspective. What you need is youthful ambition and drive. However, its but natural that the old guard will rally behind it's stalwarts. The old guard will suppress the upcoming talent and will make a strong case for it's continuity. Instead of pushing it's weight behind the colts, when management opts to place it's bet on the same old, beaten horse, you know that its a losing bet.
Something to think about. If the old guard continues to make wrong choices and flat judgments, why would the next generation step up only to accept the burden of these misplaced decisions? Probably the question I asked at the start will soon stare at a workplace very familiar to me.

Full credit to Bob Dylan for putting it so eloquently,
Gentlemen, he said,
I don't need your organization, I've shined your shoes,
I've moved your mountains and marked your cards
But Eden is burning, either brace yourself for elimination
Or else your hearts must have the courage for the changing of the guards.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Can people be compared across eras?

Have been busy lately. Need to find the right balance between office and home. Anyways, something that I have been thinking lately is this: can people be compared across eras?
Arguably yes. Probably no. Is it fair to compare Bradman and Sobers with Sachin and Lara in cricket? How would Rod Laver, Sampras, and Federer have played if they had competed at the same time with similar racquets and on a single surface? Heres something really interesting. Would Einstein have devised the relativity theory in the 16th century? Or could Newton have decrypted the heavens and gravity in an earlier age? Each of these individuals has been great in their respective fields. No question. I think the argument is how much of their greatness can be attributed to the tools, technologies, and circumstances of their times? Would it be even fair to do so? How can people judge the relevance and importance of the situations in which people lived in another age?

One last thought tonight. Am I implicitly trying to compare the success of people across ages? If so, then is there any measure to weigh success and its footprint across ages?

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Change comes from within...

When an egg breaks due to some external force, a life ends. When an egg breaks due to some internal force, a life begins. Change comes from within.

-Overheard this today in the train. Something for me to think about for the rest of the week.....

Friday, May 21, 2010

Why do you fall down??

So that you can get back up on our feet. That makes falling down so interesting. You learn a new lesson each time you fall. Thats what every day is about. You want so many things. Each morning you set out to find them. When you return home after a tiring day, you look back to evaluate all thats happened. What you have learnt? What new experiences you shared? What went wrong? What went right? And you are ready to apply all those things when you set out the next day. So you wish all this were true. But its not. You fall down. You kick the ground. Let out your frustration. Use a few foul words. Talk to yourself. Remind yourself that the whole world is out to get you....

Amazing isn't it? Such a wonderful opportunity goes by. Instead of taking the positives out of the hardships, you choose to focus on the depressing aspects. There is never a better perspective than hindsight. Ever wonder why there are more followers than leaders? You only learn from your mistakes. Your blemishes only offer you a chance to perfect something. Hey !! Its easy to preach these wonderful things in a sermon. But its really difficult to experience them yourself. More so, when the embarassment of falling down is overwhelming. Do you want to lose today so that you win tomorrow? Nah. You always wish to win at first shot....

No one likes to lose. Consider this in the context of the world having more losers and very few winners. Thats why you love the underdog. Somewhere you view yourself in the shadows of every underdog who takes on the mighty bully. You always want the underdog to win. Yup. It always happens in movies and sometimes in sports. Rarely happens in life and love. Well, the point is that your losing everytime makes the rare win so much more worthwhile. Dont bother asking the Aussie cricket team of 90s or Federer or Woods. They would not vouch for it. Final thoughts. You lose not because you lost. You lose when you fail to realize that you have so much to gain...

Something to consider. Centuries ago, an apple fell on the head of a man sitting under the tree. The man asked the question, "Why do you fall down?" The rest they say is history...

Monday, May 10, 2010

For centuries to come...

Three stone masons in the middle ages were hard at work when a visitor came along and asked them what they were doing.

The first stone mason was hard at work, sweat beading his brow. “I am cutting this stone”, he grumbled.
The second stone mason, though less distraught, responded with a deep sigh, “I’m building a parapet”.
The third stone mason, replied with a radiant face, “I am building a beautiful cathedral that will glorify God for centuries to come”.

- What a start to this week !! Just finished reading this story. Simple but elegant. Had to post this here...

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Just a dash of solitude was enough...

Just a dash of solitude was enough
To kindle emotions from the past
Of times we held each other's hand
Walking together by the rosy sunset
Leaving footprints in the wet sands
So waves may slowly kiss them away
Picking shells stranded on the shore
To hear what the sea wished to say
Gazing at white birds on the horizon
Hoping they returned to their beloved
Little stars beginning their descent
Stood witness to our silent young love
A dash of solitude is now not enough
To seek solace from these emotions

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Mumbaikar's triplet...

I have lived many years of my life in Mumbai. Yet, I cannot claim to have seen and experienced everything about it. It has so much more to offer. The excitement. The friendliness. The rush hour. You name it. Navigating the uncertainty in this great city. Adjusting to the dynamism of this bustling metro. Realizing those dreams which made someone come to this amazing place. In short, what makes the average guy in this city tick? Cannot speak for everyone. But, here are the three things that appeal to every Mumbaikar in one way or the other.

Local train. Would be really difficult to find one who has not traveled by trains. A vast majority of the citizens have their destiny intertwined to the "on time-ness" of the local trains. It would not be heretic to say that Thane local and Virar local are the lifelines of the city. Hanging from the trains and jostling with hundred of others simply to get in are experiences by themselves. The compartments are called first class and second class. Sort of a colonial hangover. But, today both of them are equally crowded. Only difference being ticket checkers exist in first class predominantly. How can one forget the "video coach"? It cannot be described. You have to travel by it to experience it. A lovely window that offers earnest guys a peek into the psyche of the fairer gender. Almost every other college guy wants to be in that one! Wait a minute, I think most of them travel regularly by one! Suffice to say, the window makes the whole trip via trains worthwhile for many. Next is the vada pav. A perennial favorite. Introduced to the western world as the "Mumbai Burger". Its fast. Its yummy. Vegetarian's delight. Basically, it is mashed potatoes with a dash of mustard, turmeric, chillies, coriander and onions. And the wonderful mix is sandwiched between two bread slices, locally called pav. Add some spicy garlic chutney and a "cutting chai". You have the most delicious source of energy available to every Mumbaikar. Last but not the least, it is the mango. Nothing helps beat the searing summer heat like the mango. So many types of mangos. But, the alphonso is the dearest. In May, the whole city is lit up by the yellow fruit. It would be rare to find anyone in the city who does not consider this fruit a favorite. The average aunty loves bargaining for the mango as much as eating it. The mango is what binds the rich and the poor. Whether living in the highest towers in South Mumbai or in the shanties of Dharavi, a smile curves up on the faces at the sight of the mango.

This triplet may not be as beautiful as the Pythagorean one. But, it sure does bring back memories. Aha ! A vada pav, a glass of fresh mango juice and the afternoon Thane local...

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Documents, workplace tools and people....

"Go read this document." This is one of the most widely heard lines on my floor. Remarkable it is. Everything is put down in words. Everything is captured in some document. That way, people can access information quickly. Even if you were not part of the discussion and deliberation, you get the "take away points". I work in a place where the balance is tilted in favor of "old timers". Experience clings to the time tested formulae while the youth chases dreams and risks. This does not bother me as much as the prevalent culture does. One where the focus is on documents and not on people. I do not dispute the importance of documents. Nor do I disagree with the notion that they dispel confusion. However, I simply believe that ideas flow from people and not from documents. Innovation in workplace comes from people and not from documents. Documents only help in filling the blanks. But, the sentences are formed by people.

Not two days ago, a senior colleague of mine showed me some new tool or should I say "workspace". He highlighted the benefits of the tool, including better communication, team contribution and effective risk management. I was impressed. However, there was something clearly missing. In the midst of all the hooplah on how "The Team" had used this novel technology to its strengths, I could clearly see that the focus still remained on the documents and the tool. Not on creativity. Not on capturing whats in people's minds. And definitely not on finding better solutions to the problems at hand. The documents and tools had become bigger than the ideas that everyone wanted to see in the documents.

"The art of art, the glory of expression and the sunshine of the light of letters, is simplicity." Whitman's words seem so clear to me now. Keeping things simple is the key. More personal interaction among individuals. More group discussions. More brainstorming with definite agendas. Shift the focus back to people. And let people make the decision on how they want to use tools and documents. People today sit in cubes in my floor. It would be worthwhile to see how things would be different if people would sit in a rounded circle and worked. Shared ideas and information with greater ease and freedom. No walls and barriers to prevent people from discussing the problems. More time for face to face deliberation.

Does innovation stem from the mind? Or does innovation stem from the surroundings? Does the mind learn from the surroundings? Can the mind imitate the perfection and imperfection in the surroundings? Something for me to think for the rest of the day...

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Faith shall move mountains...

Socks, towels, plates with leftover food and books. The list goes on. My eyes wander across the room. Everything is lying around on the floor. So random. The scene is laid out very well for some artist to paint chaos. What would be more interesting? To observe chaos on canvas? Or to differentiate art from chaos? Havent written anything in a while? I ask the lady inside the musical globe sitting pretty besides me. She is playing her melancholy tune. I ponder what to write. On the white wall opposite to me sits one photograph. That of the elephant headed God. He is looking down on me. Figuratively speaking yes. But, right now, literally too. Sort of a loving parent watching over as the kid plays. And the kid fumbles around. But, He is ready to pick up without a moment's notice...

Faith. Every dictionary will put some meaning for this word. Books expound on it. Tales crafted on it. Beings of wisdom have related their thoughts on it. Source of several ballads. Then, there is another word. Miracle. Countless stories recount episodes where coincidence and chance lost the battle with celestial response. So, as I write this blog I wonder. I wonder whether miracles are a pre-requisite for faith or the other way round. I am sure philosophers, sages of yore, meta-physicists, clergymen, yogis and everyone else must have put some thought on this. Add poets and scientists to this too. Now, I ask myself. "Must you witness a miracle to have faith?" In this wide world, there is no shortage of people who need "undisputed proof". Science itself stands firm on the bedrock of evidence. So, if this question were to be examined on the pedestals of science, then miracles would be considered "proof" of faith. In my personal opinion, faith does not need any "proof". Therefore, true devotion and faith stands independent of the need to witness miracles. It is the weakness in faith that requires physical and literal manifestation. Ofcourse, certain readers may disagree. How do they believe what they have not seen or faced firsthand? Lets Clarify. This is neither a scientific nor philosphical analysis into the dispute between atheism and theism. And there is not an iota of pretence in this claim. This is simply me asking some questions to myself...

Closing in on this piece. Would it be heretic for me to now say that having faith is a miracle in itself? And since I have faith in Him, I have witnessed this first miracle?? If so, then faith does not need miracles. Faith helps understand miracles. Now, aint that a miracle???

Saturday, February 20, 2010

The princess and the frog...

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said: "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want". Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked: "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The man said, "Look I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

-This piece had me in splits as I read it somewhere. Simply had to post this here...

Sunday, February 14, 2010

You know you are in love when...

I accept. This is no coincidence. I am writing this piece on this day. Fourteen days into February. The day of Valentine. Considered by many around the world as the day to express love. Most common expressions include flowers, cards and little toys. Many might enjoy a candlelit dinner. Some might go for a quiet walk. Others might have more creative plans. I did nothing today. To say I woke up late would be a travesty. Suffice to say that my breakfast coincided with the Sunday siesta of most in my timezone. Nothing special lined up for me today, I say to myself.
Looking at all the Valentine related stuff I ask myself. How do you know you are in love?? Are you?? Well... Evening has come. And I sit down to keyboard my thoughts...

You know when you are in love when... Well, I guess you just know. Nothing is same. Your thoughts are elsewhere. Nothing appears right. And yet, everything seems to be so. You wake up in the morning. And you begin to dream. You open the window to marvel at the view outside. But you think the view inside your heart is more beautiful. You gaze at the sunrise. But you think this is not what brings light in your life. You look at the greenest of the valleys. Yet you think there is more greenery in your life. You notice the morning dew sliding down the rose petals. But you think of the tears on someone's face. You see the vast expanse of daffodils smiling at you. And you think they are cheerful because you will be introducing them to someone special tonight. Colorful butterflies hover near the multitudes of white lilies. Only for you to be convinced that the nectar they will find is nowhere as sweet as someone's voice. You look towards the sky. Full of white shapes against the blue backdrop. Limitless it is. And yet you think that it is smaller than someone's embrace. You walk barefoot on the wet grass. But you are certain that you are aware of a more tender touch. You look into the clear waters of the lake. You hope to find youself. Instead, you see someone else as your reflection. You walk alone on a dusty road. Yet you think someone is walking besides you. You stand on the shore waiting for the waves to come and kiss your feet. But you remember your last goodbye to someone with great poignancy. A breeze comes along and touches your face. But you are engulfed by thoughts of that someone whose fragrance the wind brought along. When the rain falls, you think of all the moments you shared with someone. When you hear the violins being played, you imagine swaying to that tune with someone. When you see the wide branches of that giant tree in the middle of the field, you wish you were sitting on the thickest one holding someone's hands and swinging your legs like kids. You look at a glorious sunset. But you think someone's smile is more bewitching. Millions of stars are twinkling up above. But they fade away compared to the twinkle in someone's eyes. You look at the resplendent moon. You say that you have known someone with far greater radiance. When you go to sleep, you listen to someone's silence. And this dream about someone continues to the next day, for every day of your life...

Shakespeare wrote in A midsummer night's dream,"It is not night when I do see your face." If these lines hold some meaning to you, then you know. You know you are in love...

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Just close my eyes only to see you...

Just close my eyes only to see you
On the hill where the sun bids adieu
And sing merry birds before they rest
Now holding each other's quiet hands
Under the shadows of the old banyan
Reflecting in the blue waters beneath
Nothing between this sky, this earth
Can even describe my feelings tonight
Do listen to this silence which speaks
Because your heart shall know it right
Twilight be the hour of our separation
And what lies ahead we do not know
Wonder now if it was meant to be so
Open my eyes only to be alone again

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Not name...but ideas...

A square shape. Yes. that is where I sit in my office. Much of the "working" world is divided into such square shapes. I wonder. Why couldnt it be circular? There would be no corners then. I stand up. I look around me. Everyone likes to believe that they are working very hard. Everyone likes to imagine that the work they are doing is important. And yet, everyone has a different experience each day at work. Some good days. Some ordinary days. Some forgettable ones. Something does not change though. And that is the working style of people. I would like to assume that it is very difficult to change one's work habits. Especially if one has spent a lifetime doing the same thing. Never asked questions. Why am I doing this? Am I doing the right thing? Can I perfect something? Over the last few months or so, I have come to believe that it is not that people dont want to ask questions. It is more that people are afraid of asking the questions. What is in it for me? Why should I even challenge what is working fine for me? This is perhaps the single biggest dilemma that has pierced the soul of every square shape. Name. Recognition. Appreciation. Fame. Wealth. Success. Most square shapes are weighed down by any of these. I do not claim to be immune to most of these. I admit. I do wish these. And no reason why anyone should not. But being imprisoned in these walls is not acceptable. A world without square shapes. A world without inhibitions. A world without restrictions. Yes. A world where ideas form the core and name is the edge. A world where one can work with freedom. Where one can work for learning. Where one can work for excellence. Where one can ask limitless questions. And yearn for infinite answers. Swami Vivekananda's message was "My name should not be made prominent. It is my ideas that I want to see realized." Exactly something that can break the shackles of these square shapes. Not name...but ideas. Not square shapes..but halls of creativity.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Solitude on the waterfront...

On the waterfront. I leave my office. The destination is clear and obvious. I am going to the building on the other side. It is lunch hour. A few quick strides and I should be there I say to myself. The cafeteria on the other side. Everyday I walk along this same path. A large expanse of water sits right besides my office. Ducks paddling as usual. The sky is a bit cloudy. Slight hint of a possible passing shower. I keep walking. Nothing new. I admit the scene is picturesque. Yet, I never stand and look around. I go my way. And yet, today I stand at the corner and observe. Everyday I see it from the back of my eye. It is difficult not to notice it. Right in the middle. Standing quite alone. Full of excitement. Full of energy. Yet I dont see anyone around me stand and spare a few moments for this view. Some are busy. Some appear to be busy. Others dont care. I turn to look across the waters. And there it is. Aiming to touch the sky. That solitary fountain...

Water keeps gushing at a rapid pace. I have not seen it rest to this date. White as snow. And I see so many shapes with every passing moment. The birds do not seem to mind. The old crane is busy looking for fish. The lone pelican just flies by. The fountain then throws water a few notches high. Saying hello to the pelican, are we? I shake my head. For once, it appears that the fountain has a mind of its own. A will of its own. And perhaps a heart too. I wonder. I am curious. How does the fountain keep going? And what does it achieve by throwing water continuously at some random heights every few seconds? I keep walking. Few yards away. I stop. It just dawned on me. I throw a fleeting glance on the edge of the waterfront. I can see the reflection of the trees. I can see the rocks sliding slowly. But that is not what I am looking for. Aha. There it is. The ripples across the waters. So that is the secret of the fountain I say to myself. How come I never realized it? More than a year now. I trace the origin of the ripples. Indeed. The fountain has something to say. And the waters are listening. Every leap of the fountain. Every pulse of the fountain. It tries to convey its innermost thoughts. And with every ripple across the waters, it hopes that someone will listen. Alas. The ripples die as they reach the shore. The voice is unheard. And still, the fountain keeps going higher. With every leap and every high, it thinks it might be able to get someone to listen. If only, someone would listen...

I get my lunch. On my way back, I look at the fountain one more time. There is a smile on my face. Why did I not think of this before? Ofcourse, it has to be so. And it cannot be otherwise. I was mistaken. The fountain does not want anyone to listen to it. Imagine !! The fountain wants to listen to everyone. Even in solitude, it does everything to listen to everyone. To everything. My thoughts. My feelings. My joys. My sorrows. With every ripple, the fountain tries to connect to me. Tries to listen to my inner thoughts. Even in solitude, it tries to reach out to me. It is someone whom I can confide in. My wishes. My concerns. My prayers. The fountain is listening. Absorbs everything. And then letting it out. Higher. Farther. Towards the sky, As if reaching out to some higher power. Some unknown power. Telling Him what I am thinking. Telling Him what I am feeling. I start walking. Knowing there is solitude on the waterfront. Knowing that the leap of the fountain is the leap of faith....

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Depths of fulfillment and loss...

Another year. Some more thoughts. The holidays were a welcome break. But, now the daily pangs at work are back. The last few weeks have witnessed a medley of emotions. Explored new cities. Visited new food joints. On the other hand, the atmosphere at workplace has become more "blocked". No desire to dwell on that for now. Moving on. Have been catching up on my reading over the last few days. A question has engrossed me over the last few hours. Kiran Desai asks very plainly in her "The Inheritance of Loss". Initially, I simply read the line. And proceed to the next page. Two pages later. I come back to this. Dont know why. And ever since, the question has captured my attention. Could fulfillment ever be felt as deeply as loss??

The two things seem so very different. And yet, they are being spoken of in the same breath. Why? Perhaps both are events that evoke strange feelings. Lets take fulfillment. One waits for something for a long time. Sighs of anxiety eventually give way to sighs of relief. One is happy. But then it is over. There is nothing more to wait for. Suddenly, emptiness pervades everything around you. Now, consider the other part. Loss. It happens in a flash. And then something is gone forever. Words seem so futile. And one does not know what to do. Or whom to turn to. But, then slowly one learns to cope with the situation. Over time, the hurt slowly vanishes. Marks may remain. Nevertheless, once in a while, one is reminded of that loss. As for the question itself. The depths of both are pretty similar. And it is quite possible that both achieve the same effect. To borrow the lines of a Hindi film song, "my dil goes hmmm". In both cases, it really does. Its just that the underlying tenor may be slightly different. Actually, an interesting aspect to consider is this. Fulfillment for one is loss for someone else. Be it the race for success, or wealth or even love. Some have their wish fulfilled. Some just accept disappointment and move on. I guess thats life...

As I finish up with this piece today, I am left with this thought. Finding fulfillment at the expense of loss. Would it ever be so that a loss actually leads to fulfillment? A heartbroken person will surely be able to answer this...

Friday, January 1, 2010

Walking down the journey of my life....

Walking down the journey of my life
Looking across the depths of the valley
I saw a beautiful angel glide gleefully
Adorned in flowers singing an old song
Those wings of compassion and mystique
Dressed in the color of christmas orchids
Even the glorious sunset vista was in awe
Time was still as I gazed at her lovely face
Could she be my true love I asked myself
And then she disappeared into the woods
Never have our footsteps crossed since
And yet her memory lingers to this day
Hope to see her again atleast one more time
Before the end of this journey of my life